I'm Moving My Blog

It's still a work in progress, but I'm moving my blog to:

http://www.adventuresofanautmom.blogspot.com/

I would like to welcome you to check it out :)

Josiah's Diagnosis

I don't know how many people know this yet, but Josiah was diagnosed with autism on Wednesday. I've already had some people say some really stupid stuff to me, so I'm not telling anyone else face to face.  I guess it is a little overwhelming for some people to imagine us with two autistic children.  But, it's a little insulting when people are horrified by my family.  My children are beautiful--in every way, and they bring me so much joy.  I understand that this is going to be hard.  I hate knowing that they will have challenges and struggles.  But, I'm going to do everything I can to help them!

I didn't cry or flinch during the evaluation, but that is mostly because I already knew.  And, when it is all said and done, I'm not really scared of autism.  I know that kids can get better, and I'm going to do eveything in my power to ensure they are overcomers and that they are happy. For my husband and I, the diagnosis of Josiah was not shocking, horrifying, or insulting in any way.  We know that Josiah is beautiful, smart, and not terribly different that any other 16-month-old. 

I LOVE MY BABY BOY!!!

The Most Encouraging Recovery Video I've Seen Yet

I've been watching recovery videos on youtube.  Some of them look like they are stretching it a little bit, but some of them are amazing.  I was really encouraged by this particular video!!!   The dark circles under the boys eyes are a common trait that I've seen in many autistic children.  We really see it badly in Josiah (one reason we went ahead and started him on yeast treatment as well).

Family with 6 Autistic Children

I think this family is pretty amazing--not to mention their children are so cute. They encourage me to keep going forward. I feel horrible that the mom had a breakdown at one point from all the stress. My heart goes out to her. I will keep them in my prayers :)

ABA and Biomed update

Just wanted to post a quick update on how Isaac's treatment was going.  He is doing awesome with ABA.  He quickly picks up patterns and is VERY cooperative with them.  They are about to update his program for the second time after only a couple of months.  He is always very chatty after therapy and more in tune with what I'm saying.  I've noticed that his speech comprehension has picked up, and is especially in tune after a therapy session.  Makes me want to do more therapy!!! 

We are doing yeast treatment to heal up Isaac's bowels.  He is on his 4th day of diflucan, so we are still waiting to see what happens.  The doctor said this can make him very sick because as the yeast dies off the toxins are reabsorbed into his body.  I haven't noticed anything drastic happen yet.  Since I'm looking for something, I have noticed that his sensory issues may be a little more extreme.  I think he has seemed a little more sensitive to noise lately.  And, he seems just a little tired maybe too.  But, otherwise he seems to be doing well.  But, I'm wondering if it will take a while before the die-off sickness starts.  I pray not.  I've hesitated on giving him the medication because I've been afraid I couldn't handle it with all the stress going on right now.  David was switched to a new route which was ANOTHER pay cut for us, and he has been really negative lately.  We are on the mad rush to look for a job.  I've been applying online which has kept me up at night, and I've run into some interesting positions.  We are looking for David as well.  So, anyone reading this, please pray for us!!!

And, we would like to be able to find a church that is uplifting and be able to attend a service.  Please pray for that as well :)

Decisions

My husband and I have a lot of decisions to make.  It doesn't help that my husband is not a planner.  He "flies by the seat of his pants" as many say.  But, unfortunately, everything we do takes some planning and my husband relies on me for that.  And, I don't have the confidence to make big decisions.  So, we often get caught in an odd position.  But, we are learning. 

We have a lot of financial decisions to make, especially when it comes to ABA.  There is no doubt that the program is excellent.  There is no doubt that Isaac is responding well to it, and there is no doubt that he needs it.  So, the question is, how are we going to pay for it and how are we going to maintain it? 

My husband took a pay cut to come here, and he has recently been transferred to a new route which will be another small pay cut (we were hoping for the opposite.)  We have money from the sale of our house, but with the cost of therapy, special products, and medical treatments, we will run out too quickly.  I quess I've had some fantasy that family members or church family would see our situaiton and come to our aid.  But, no doubt, WE ARE ON OUR OWN. 

We do have options, and the only way I can see that we are going to SURVIVE this is to better our financial situation.  After all, this problem is not going to go away.  I so wish it would, and I believe in miracles.  But, there are a lot of people out there that love God and are going through the same thing.

The question is, how do we provide what our child needs?  Someone has to be available during day time hours to run back and forth to therapies and doctor's visits.  I think only another aut-mom can understand the demands of this.  If I find a full-time job, David would have to quit and take on a part-time job.  He could finish some schooling.  This seems like the easiest option, but NOTHING has opened up.  And, I do have concerns that David won't be able to manage what I'm doing.  He is not as good at reading Isaac's moods and keeping an eye on him.  Isaac bolts really quickly, and he can be lost in traffic in a matter of seconds.  I've been around Isaac so long and observed him so much that I believe that I often know what he is thinking.  Also, David seems to panic in many situations (for instance, if one of the kids throws up in the car), and gets everyone really stressed out.  I have to tell him to take a deep breath sometimes, and tell him that it is going to be okay. I'm a much more even-kill temperament.

I've also considered going to graduate school and taking out all the loans available.  But, I'm just not sure I could swing it.  I'm afraid that I won't be able to give my family the quality they deserve, and in the end, this might be counter-productive.  I already feel like a shell of a woman with the bags under my eyes and spaced-out mind from lack of sleep and exhaustion.  No doubt, I don't take care of myself as I need to. I only survive by a daily pot of coffee, and my diet is whatever I can cram in my mouth on the fly (usually left over toddler food).  My husband and I don't get dates, free time, cuddle time--we can't have hobbies--we can't have friends like we want to.  BUT, we enjoy our children together.  We learn to love watching Micky Mouse Clubhouse for the 500th time.  We marvel at the ability to quote every line from the show.  And, all in all, I believe we love each other more and even feel proud of the fact that we've managed to survive as a lower middle-class family dealing with AUTISM. 

I love my family, and I want the best for them.  I just need God's help on these decisions...

Mini-Version of the Documentary, Autism Every Day